just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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