I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
