You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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