I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
