Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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