no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
third nipple confirmed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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