Sponge bath it is.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
