Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
How's work?
Spinning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
