i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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