if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
