I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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