This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
