Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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