we have officially lost it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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