You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
