WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
