Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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