So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
