Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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