I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
