Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
