I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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