i think my tv is drunk
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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