Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
