Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I died a long time ago.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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