The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
