You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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