i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
