I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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