I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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