We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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