We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
