thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
