hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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