so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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