There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
