I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sorry my hands just texted you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
