Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
