just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
