am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
