He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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