Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
