go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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