Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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