Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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