My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
