Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
