some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
