you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
this is an emotional support booty call
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
