We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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